Week 3: Books, a birthday, and no Bibliotheks

Days since last round up: 7

Estimated fluency: anywhere between 20 and 70% (more on this later) 

Major achievements: recovering AWOL parcel, successfully diverting a conversation back into German following unwanted switch to English

Unsuccessful ventures: getting into a library

Best word learnt this week: den Spieß umdrehen (to turn the tables - literally to turn the spit - as in the thing you roast meat on) 

Reading: Was Weisse Menschen Nicht Über Rassismus Hören Wollen Aber Wissen Sollten by Alice Hasters

Weather: pouring it down after a hot spell

As I believe I predicted towards the end of my last post, week three here in Munich got off to a slightly tricky start. Monday mornings are never the easiest, and somehow being three years old and not wanting to go to nursery doesn’t make that any better. Monday and Tuesday morning getting the younger girl to kindergarten felt like I’d backtracked on the progress I was making at the end of last week, but Wednesday and Thursday ran so smoothly that I started to feel much more confident, like I was actually being useful for the family and getting into the swing of things, becoming part of the girls’ daily routine. Quite a few evenings this week the older girl wanted to go out and pick flowers after dinner, and for her I feel like I’m becoming less of an inconvenience and more like an older sister. I also made it into her ‘Meine Freunde’ book, which means she officially likes me. The younger one is still getting used to me, and I’m realising that it won’t be a linear or an easy process, there are ups and downs, but generally things are promising. 

Once the kids were in school, following some faff with misdirected parcels (year abroad survival tip: if you’re living in an apartment with someone else, make sure your name is on the letter box, otherwise your parcel gets sent to a random German post office), I gave up on Amazon and consoled myself with some good old-fashioned in-person book shopping, bagging some recent non-fiction on race in Germany, and then tried to find the Juristische Bibliothek in the Neues Rathaus, but continuing with the theme of it just not being my day, you have to book slots in advance because of COVID. I’ve heard it’s gorgeous though, so watch this space because I will be visiting very soon and I’m quite sure it will shoot straight to the top of the favourite places list. My attempt to go to the Staatsbibliothek on Wednesday also proved more difficult than expected, so I changed tack and started investigating cafes to work in instead. 

But before that, on Tuesday I was graced with visit from Leo Ditachmair, a friend I made in Nice at the end of Year 13 who lives in Linz and was passing through Munich on his way to Paris. Being able to show someone around who’s never been to Munich before was a great chance to realise just how well I’ve got to know at least the centre of the city over the last few weeks. We also managed to talk in German for most of the day. On which, in an update for those of you interested in the linguistic side of things, I’m really pleased with how totally immersed I am in German. I can count on one hand the number of times someone has switched into English because they think that it will be easier or that I don’t understand; I don’t know if that’s to do with my own linguistic competency or just the people in Munich (or maybe a mix of both). When it does happen, it’s usually during the kind of short encounter that I find particularly stressful. Ordering in a cafe or a restaurant; brief, functional exchanges in a shop; the kind of situations you don’t even realise involve language when you do them in English, but which (I find) just don’t come naturally in a foreign tongue. They’re also the situations which are most likely to be rushed or time pressured, and where you’re focussing on much more than just your language. I’ve found that COVID has made this even more tricky, with masks blocking facial expressions and sometimes making what someone says genuinely difficult to hear, before you’ve even got on to translation. I still don’t feel the same ease and command of the situation when I go into a cafe or shop here as I would in England, for me there is a sense of not quite owning the space or feeling like I’m doing something wrong. On the other hand, in the exchanges that I do routinely day to day (chatting to staff at nursery, giving the girls instructions, asking the parents questions), I feel like I’m well-equipped with the vocab I need and really beginning to get the hang of it. In more extended conversation which is often more complicated than an exchange in a shop, I know I still don’t express myself as idiomatically as a native speaker, and my starting point is still probably a sentence in English, rather than my thoughts being formulated directly in German, but in general the idea of chatting away for an extended period of time in German isn’t daunting at this stage, and I can usually find some way to explain what I mean even if I don’t have the exact right vocab. All of this was discussed in great detail on Tuesday, mostly in German, but with a bit of French and English thrown in for good measure. 

This week was a bit more reading focussed than sightseeing, and I started with Eure Heimat ist Unser Albtraum(Your ‘Heimat’ (home, home country) is Our Nightmare), a collection of essays by BIPoC German writers on their experiences of racism and being part of an ethnic minority in Germany, (comparable to The Good Immigrant in Britain - which I’d highly recommend). It was initially put together because of the controversial renaming of the German Home Office, and is particularly relevant in light of the Black Lives Matter movement. Next on the list was Was Weisse Menschen Nicht Über Rassismus Hören Wollen Aber Wissen Sollten (What White People Don’t Want To Hear About Racism But Should Know), and both books have proved to be evocative and powerful initiations into the reality of ‘multiculturalism’ in Germany. 

After a rocky start, the week had begun to run pretty smoothly, both with my free time and the time with the kids, but Friday morning was a bit of a wake-up call to the unpredictable reality of life with young children. It was the older girl’s last day of school before finishing for summer, and she had some time off in the morning because report giving was staggered due to COVID. Between her leaving and having to pick her up again I had what I’m going to brand my first Classic Au Pair Horror Story, involving standing in the bathroom with a screaming three year old for half an hour solid. Followed by a similar incident later in the day, this time involving a chase, when she tried to escape the apartment to follow her mum and sister on their celebratory trip to a nearby bakery. Both ended surprisingly calmly, with a successful (if slightly late) delivery to kindergarten, and later on with her falling asleep. Although this all sounds quite stressful, it's actually been one of the things that's easier to deal with, because it's out of my control, and it's an expected part of the job, rather than some of the more unexpected ups and downs of transitioning to life in a new country.

Saturday was the older girl’s birthday and another relaxed day around the house, with a trip to the Petuelpark in the morning for some reading in the sun, and a walk into town for some tasty vegan food in the evening. Sunday was all hands on deck for her birthday party with friends, which the parents agreed was a big success - no serious injuries, no falling out, and sunshine after a cloudy morning. Following an impromptu sleepover invitation from a friend, the older girl was off and I was free for the evening after a bit of tidying up. A walk along Leopoldstrasse and a blog post later, I’ve got just enough time to finish Hasters’ book. Next week is school holidays so while the girls both still have daycare, mornings should be a bit more relaxed, I’ve got an exciting reading list coming up, and plenty more favourite finds to discover.